17 May, 2006
Nothing good to say today. This is a blow out rant for the sake of sanity.
I am tired of being told what I can and cannot do, I am tired of people with no self-discipline or honour, I am tired of people who constantly ask questions they could easily solve themselves if they put some effort in, I am tired of bullshit systems that pamper people who are dead weight and above all I am tired of the fact that deep down I actually care about people and want them to succeed. Sometimes I think life would be much simpler if I was a complete bastard.
I stood in front of two classes today, the two I really enjoy teaching and found I had absolutely nothing left to give. Half way through the week and I’ve got nothing left. I still don’t really understand why we’ve institutionalised education and made it so relentless. It seems really insecure and unsustainable. There is no leeway for mistakes or any sort of pressure valve. This morning I heard about the teenage girls who had beaten a couple of bus drivers, dealt with kids who were in various states of coma (some alcohol induced) and didn’t want to be in class, listened to some twattle about the 21st century being all “hi-tech”, shiny and glossy, was witness to a woman get hit by a car and then got the low down on the 5th Dunedin-based teenage suicide in 2 months. Something has broken in this part of the World and bad things are starting to happen. I find myself looking at certain kids at school wondering if they’re going to be the bastards who break into my house or assault someone I know (or me). It’s a shit way to spend a day.
I know there are great people out there working hard to make things better. I work with some of them each day. Today I could not see them for the layer of shit.